The relationship we have with our children is the foundation that makes rules, limits and communication work. When the bond is strong, they cooperate more and come to us when they have a problem.

What makes it grow

  • Special time. Ten or fifteen minutes a day when they choose the game and we are simply there, without the phone and without correcting.
  • Noticing what they do well. We tend to point out what goes wrong; it helps to say out loud what works too.
  • Physical and verbal affection, adapted to what each child is comfortable with.
  • Interest in their world. Ask about their friends, their favourite game or the drawing they have made.
  • Shared routines. A bedtime story, the walk to school, cooking together on Sundays.

When there is conflict

Having a good relationship does not mean there are no limits. It means setting them without humiliating, and making up after a bad moment: “I shouted at you earlier and I'm sorry”. Apologising does not take away our authority; it shows how a relationship is looked after.

A simple idea

Aim for the pleasant interactions to clearly outnumber the corrections every day. It is not an exact formula, but it helps to check how the balance looks.