Humour is an underrated parenting tool. A moment of laughter can unblock a difficult morning far better than three warnings in a row, and it teaches children that problems can be looked at from another angle.

What it is for

It relaxes the atmosphere, reduces power struggles and makes the child see us as close. And laughing at ourselves is a good model for how to cope with mistakes.

Ways to use it

  • Turn a routine into a game. Shoes that “talk” and ask for a foot.
  • Exaggerate. “There are so many socks in this room we could open a shop”.
  • Get things wrong on purpose so that they correct us.
  • Make up songs for brushing teeth or laying the table.
  • Laugh at our own absent-mindedness out loud.

The limits

Irony and sarcasm are not well understood until around eight or ten, and they can hurt. Nor is it a good idea to joke about the child's characteristics or to use humour when they are truly sad or frightened: at that moment they need us to take them seriously.

If in doubt, one question helps: are we both laughing?