When should we start relationships and sex education with our children?
Relationships and sex education starts long before adolescence. It is not one big talk, but many small conversations over the years.
Many parents wait for “the right moment” to talk about sexuality, and it often comes too late. Children ask questions from an early age, and if they do not find answers at home they will look for them online or among their friends.
What it means at each age
- Up to six. The correct names for the parts of the body, that their body belongs to them, the difference between good secrets and secrets that make them feel bad.
- From six to nine. Where babies come from, the diversity of families, respect and consent in play and in shows of affection.
- From nine to twelve. The changes of puberty before they arrive, privacy, emotions, and how to look critically at what they see on screens.
How to go about it
- Answer what they ask, truthfully and without going much further.
- Use clear words and a natural tone.
- Make the most of opportunities: a pregnancy in the family, a scene in a film.
- Say “I don't know, let's find out” when we do not have an answer.
Why it protects them
Children who are well informed are better at recognising inappropriate situations and know they can tell someone about them. Relationships and sex education does not bring anything forward: it gives them tools.