How can I encourage empathy in my child?
Empathy develops with age, but it can also be practised. Children learn to put themselves in other people's shoes when someone has first put themselves in theirs.
Empathy is the ability to understand what another person is feeling and to respond to it. Between six and twelve it takes a big leap, because children can now imagine points of view different from their own.
How we can encourage it
- Be empathetic with them. A child who feels understood learns how it is done.
- Name emotions, theirs and other people's. “Did you see Pau's face when he wasn't picked?”.
- Ask questions. “How do you think she felt?”, “what would help him now?”.
- Use stories and films to talk about what the characters are feeling.
- Caring for others. A plant, a pet, a younger sibling or a grandparent.
- Making amends. After hurting someone, rather than a forced “sorry”, ask what they could do to help the other person feel better.
What to avoid
Forcing empty apologies and shaming them when they have not been empathetic. Telling them off teaches them to feel guilty, not to understand the other person.
Our example
How we talk about others, how we treat the people who serve us and how we react to someone who is having a hard time are daily lessons. And notice it when they do something kind: “you noticed she was sad and went to sit next to her”.