Many parents hesitate between stepping in every time their child has a problem and letting them sort it out alone. The middle ground is to teach them to be assertive: to express what they think and want without being aggressive and without keeping quiet.

Ideas to practise at home

  • Name what is happening. “When you take my pencil without asking, it makes me angry” is more useful than a shout or a silence.
  • Rehearse short phrases. “I don't like it”, “stop”, “it's my turn now”. Said while looking at the other person, in a firm voice.
  • Act out situations. Playing the classmate who won't let them join in, and then swapping roles, helps them find answers.
  • Let them decide small things. Choosing their clothes or their snack builds the habit of saying what they want.
  • Listen to their “no” at home. If their opinions count at home, they will dare to give them elsewhere.

When to ask for help

Standing up for yourself also means knowing when a situation is too much. It helps to make clear that telling an adult when someone hurts them repeatedly is not telling tales, but looking after themselves.

The goal is not for them to win every argument, but to trust that their voice matters.