How can I tell if my son or daughter is being bullied?
Many children who are bullied do not tell anyone. There are changes in behaviour, in their body and in their belongings that can alert us.
Out of shame, fear or because they think it will not help, children who are being bullied often keep quiet. That is why it helps to know the indirect signs.
Signs to watch for
- Not wanting to go to school or looking for excuses, especially on Sunday evenings and Mondays.
- Physical complaints with no medical cause: stomach aches, headaches.
- Mood changes: sadness, irritability, crying.
- Trouble sleeping or nightmares.
- Falling behind at school.
- Belongings that are broken or go missing, torn clothes, bruises they cannot explain.
- Isolation: they stop talking about friends and are not invited anywhere.
- Changes with their phone: they get upset when messages arrive or stop using it.
How to talk about it
Choose a calm moment and ask open questions: “who do you play with at break?”, “is there anyone who has a hard time in class?”. If they tell you, listen calmly, believe them and thank them for trusting you. Tell them it is not their fault.
What to do
Write down what has happened, ask for a meeting with the class teacher and request that the school's anti-bullying protocol be activated. It is best not to confront the other family directly or to tell your child to hit back.
If the distress is intense, seek psychological support.