Most children play sport to have fun and be with their friends. Winning matters to them, but less than we think. When adults put the result ahead of everything else, the activity stops being a game.

Attitudes that motivate

  • Value effort and improvement, not just goals or medals.
  • Cheer on the whole team and respect referees and coaches.
  • Ask “did you have fun?” before “did you win?”.
  • Let them choose the sport and accept it if they want to change.
  • Be there, without coaching from the sidelines.

Attitudes that demotivate

Shouting instructions during the match, going over mistakes in the car, comparing them with teammates, withdrawing affection when they lose or projecting our own sporting ambitions onto them.

A useful phrase

Many athletes remember that what helped them most was hearing, after competing, something as simple as: “I love watching you play”.

What is at stake

A child who links sport with pressure tends to give it up. One who links it with fun and support is more likely to stay active as an adult, which is what we really want.