Parenting styles are the way we act towards our children in everyday life, when solving problems and when making decisions. In other words, they are the set of techniques we use in bringing them up. Our different ways of acting give rise to expectations and limits that…
Parenting styles are the way we act towards our children in everyday life, when solving problems and when making decisions. In other words, they are the set of techniques we use in bringing them up. Our different ways of acting give rise to expectations and limits that become their frame of reference. This does not mean we always use the same strategies with all our children or in every situation; rather, we choose among possible ways of acting within a broader, more flexible framework.
It involves: encouraging each child to express their own needs, fostering their responsibility and granting them independence. Conveying affection and support, encouraging communication, setting rules at home and making sure they are followed through reasoning.
It fosters: better emotional and behavioural adjustment in our children, greater emotional stability and happiness, high self-esteem, greater moral and social development, better academic performance, less family conflict and more communication between family members.
It involves: low levels of both affection and discipline, indifference to the child's needs and little emotional involvement. No limits or punishments, passivity and indifference towards the children's behaviour.
It fosters: low motivation, little capacity for effort, immaturity, poor impulse control, aggressiveness, and academic, social and developmental problems.
It involves: detailed, rigid rules, punishing mistakes without praising appropriate behaviour. Very rigid communication that asserts the parent's power over the child. Little affection, a very restrictive style with no explanation of the behaviour expected and no questioning allowed. The main tool of control is punishment.
It fosters: lack of independence and creativity, and low social competence. Impulsiveness and constant avoidance of punishment. Emotional problems, low self-esteem and lack of confidence in oneself and in the parent.
It involves: few demands and little control, indifference to both the positive and the negative behaviour of the children, passivity, overprotection; any impulse of the child is tolerated and no limits or punishments are set, in defence of the “child's freedom”, even when this has serious consequences.
It fosters: greater dependence, little obedience, difficulty internalising values, immaturity and impulsiveness. Low social competence and little self-control, since there is a lack of respect for rules or for people. Low self-esteem and poor school performance.
It is clear, then, that the parenting style with the most positive consequences for our children is the democratic style, because we meet their needs and foster their independence while showing them support and affection. In this way they will trust us and achieve greater emotional stability and self-esteem, which will help them reach greater moral and social development and better academic performance, among other things. If you would like to know how to apply this parenting style at home, read this article on our blog.
We encourage you to notice how you respond to your son's or daughter's behaviour and to try to work out which parenting style those responses belong to. Which style do you think describes you best, in general?
References
Capano, A., and Ubach, A. (2013). Estilos parentales, Parentalidad Positiva y formación de padres. Ciencias Psicológicas VII (1): 83 -95.
Instituto Europeo de Educación. (2021, 1 September). Los 4 estilos parentales. https://ieeducacion.com/estilos-parentales/
Princesa 81, P. & Díaz. (2020, 10 April). Los diferentes estilos parentales – Psicólogos Princesa 81. Psicólogos Madrid | Centro Psicólogos Princesa 81. https://psicologosprincesa81.com/blog/los-diferentes-estilos-parentales/