Communication skills are not a talent you are born with. They are learned, above all, at home: by watching how we talk to each other and how we talk to them.

Why they matter

A child who communicates well makes friends more easily, resolves conflicts without aggression, asks for help when they need it and is able to explain what is happening to them. They also have more resources for saying no under peer pressure.

Which skills it includes

  • Listening without interrupting.
  • Putting emotions into words instead of acting them out.
  • Asking for things clearly and kindly.
  • Saying no and accepting a no.
  • Holding a conversation: asking questions, waiting their turn, looking at the other person.

How we can teach them

Set aside time every day to talk without screens, for example over dinner. Ask open questions: “what was the best thing about today?” works better than “how was your day?”. Speak in the first person, “I feel”, instead of accusing. And notice it when they express themselves well: “thank you for telling me like that”.

When we get things wrong and apologise, we are also teaching them how to communicate.