Many parents would like their children to tell them everything. Communication, however, cannot be demanded: it is built every day through the way we react to what they tell us.

Make time

  • One meal a day without screens.
  • One-to-one moments: the walk to school, bedtime.
  • Doing things together. Many children talk more while cooking or walking than sitting face to face.

Really listen

  • Stop what we are doing and look at them.
  • Do not interrupt or finish their sentences.
  • Repeat in our own words what they have said: “so it made you angry that they didn't wait for you”.
  • Ask before giving advice: “do you want me to help, or do you just want to tell me about it?”.

What shuts communication down

Lectures, criticism, playing things down (“that's nothing”), interrogations and overreacting. If they get told off when they share something difficult, next time they will keep quiet.

Talk about ourselves

Telling them how our day went, what made us laugh or what worried us, shows them how it is done.

Family meetings

A weekly moment to talk about plans, share out chores and solve problems gives everyone a voice.