Time-out means removing the child, for a few minutes, from the situation in which they are behaving inappropriately and from the attention they are getting. The idea is simple: with no audience and no stimulation, the behaviour loses its force and the child can regain their calm.

How to use it

  • Choose a boring, safe place. A chair in the hallway, never a dark or frightening space.
  • Warn beforehand. “If you hit again, you'll go and sit on the chair for a while”.
  • Keep it short. As a guide, one minute per year of age.
  • Stay calm. Take them there without shouting, lecturing or arguing on the way.
  • End it well. Afterwards, remind them in one sentence what was expected of them and go back to normal.

Common mistakes

Using it for everything, making it longer when they protest, threatening without following through or using their bedroom full of toys. Nor does it work if there is little positive attention the rest of the day: time-out only makes sense when “time-in” is pleasant.

When it is not appropriate

With very young children, when they are frightened or sad, or when the child needs help to regulate themselves. In those cases it is better to stay with them, not to send them away.